My Life At 60

My Life At 60

On February 9th 2023, I am SIXTY.

My first thought is both of my Grannies died at 54 and 55.

I am here. 

I’ve lived a life longer than my grandparents.

I was born in Leith, Edinburgh. I now live near Manchester U.K.

My life so far has been wonderful.

I do not over-reflect on life. For me, my life is a constant flow. I love to enjoy the now and have never been inclined to look back too much.

I have lived a lot of experiences. I enjoyed every one, but the painful ones. I only enjoyed those painful moments in reflection or after they passed.

I have been a father to six children.

Who knows how far and wide my seed will spread? At my age, I still have two parents. That’s a blessing despite my mother apparently owning an endless dislike of my personality. They had four children. Those four children gave them 18 grandchildren. The future of those children will continue.

Age does give you more time to think, but that depends if you have time to think. I have friends my age that doesn't seem to have a minute in a day to think about anything. I met a pal at the gym recently. He’s one year younger than me. His life has been an endless back-to-back crisis and now at 59 has gone back to full-time employment so he can keep his daughter at a £40,000 a year private school.

I learned that isn't a life of a happy man. It isn't a life I lived.

I know an older man that has spent all of his life waiting for something to happen. He stands at the window looking outside or sits in his room watching TV. When he retired his countdown to death had begun.

There’s another man I know that has spent his whole life chasing money. He pursued it so much that once the money arrived his ability to be happy and enjoy it has already passed. Three times he made his money. Three times he lost his money. This man used to drive a Rolls Royce. Today this same man is broke.

And one more man that has spent his life pursuing the desires of the flesh. He would see what he desired and pursue what he desired until his hands experienced the heat of the flesh the momentary indulgence of new flesh. Today this man is a lonely man with no one to sit with him, share with him, stroke his hair, touch his hands, gently kiss his cheek or even indulge his waning desire for flesh. That man is alone. Age is taking its toll.

I was once a very religious man. Religious to the point my life revolved around my faith. I had lived a life of no rules and taken on a new life packed with rules. A rule for this a rule for that. Then the added pressure of the enforcers around those rules. Those enforcers mostly couldn’t live up to the rules they enforced. Their own pleasure of faith came from the slight power given to them as an enforcer. This made me miserable. Yet this made me think.

So at 60, my life has been full. I am always taken back to the purpose of my own life.

Is it the pursuit of happiness? Surely that cannot be the case because happiness comes to all for a price. The price of personal happiness could be the price of loss for others. Is my life a life that is created to create loss and misery for others in pursuit of my own smile?

At 60 when I look back my life has been filled. I have been in a rock band. Lived as a hairdresser. Become an ordained minister. Created new careers with no real experience. Owned houses. Built my own house. Lived in grandeur. Survived bankruptcy. Thrived after divorce. Travelled the world. Visited many countries and many locations. Had my photo taken next to most of the world’s iconic locations? I’ve had two wives. I have fathered six children. I have become a writer. I am a filmmaker. I am a film director. 

Yet at 60 my memories so far are simple ones.

Holding hands with the darling love of my life, my wife, Tamuna. Sitting on a busy street drinking coffee in Florence with her. Sitting with our new children and sharing what I know. Using time to get close, stay close and create lasting memories.

Life for me has been about creating. Once man stands at the window and stops creating his road to death has been mapped out. The mind becomes slow, stale and withering. This is not the life of this man at 60.

It seems to me at 60 that most of those things that were embedded into my young mind as important were never truly important. The important things are the things that make me feel free and allow me to become exactly what I feel I want to become.

At 60 I feel more alive than I can imagine. I see yet another new career on the horizon. I can see my next film as clearly as day. Another creation for a mind born to create.

I hear people say age is just a number. Actually, I don't accept that. Age is a milestone, it is a post where you are. The purpose of age seems to me is it reminds us to have a look at what has been and ask ourselves am I living my life the way my life should be lived?

Life is flow. What is inside of me will eventually flow out and pass on into something else. Yet right now as I write about my ears I will continue to create memories. Share my experiences with my younglings, continue to build experiences with my wife and most important stay on the road of creation and sharing rather than a fixed mind that must stop.

I feel my finest days are ahead of me yet what is also ahead of me is today and tomorrow. I will remain focused on those moments for now.

This is me.

This is my life at 60.

Alan Forrest Smith