The Gap

The Gap Susan sits alone in her apartment. Head between her hands, alone, in tears, alone. Her man has gone, gone for good and he won't be coming back. Susan feels her days are empty, her chest filled with fear of being alone, in the morning, during the day and the long endless evenings only to be finished in a huge bed with no man to hold her, touch her, squeeze her and whisper into her ear words of love. He has gone, gone for good and is never coming back. The sad thing for Susan is this... this is the 3rd time she has faced this scene, it's become like a movie on a loop, the past 11 years have been the same. She finds her man, gives him everything, loves every part of his body and soul, shares every desire, every dream, every waking and sleeping moment. She did that with all 3 and all 3 have left. That's her life, she has accepted it and now she's alone. Not for long though. Susan will recover in a week or so. She'll date in a week or so and as always (because she's sexy as hell) she'll find another man, just as good as the last, stay with him for 3 or 4 years and then the cycle will repeat. Male or female... sound familiar? Let me explain. From the day we are born we are in a relationship. With mother, with father, with brothers and sisters, friends relatives and then lovers and our children if we have them. You are never out of a relationship When a relationship breaks down we experience something. That something is a thing I have called THE GAP. The gap is a very real hole that we have a huge urge to re-fill when empty. The emptiness is painful, it's debilitating, it's heartbreak at the most humanly intense level. Our first instinct when faced with the gap is to fill it. Once we have filled it so many times and lost it so many times rather then fill the gap we allow fear to tell us to leave the gap empty. We either fill and repeat or we leave empty and suffer loneliness - both can kill a persons spirit and can be hard to recover from. Susan above does just that. The gap arrives, she goes and searches for her next man to fill it. She'll repeat that until she hits the fear of "if I have another relationship and he leaves, I will have to face this pain again" The cycle is destructive yet the good news is ... it can be avoided and even repaired. The world of Zoomanity is very firm. They say fill the gap, go get another man or woman that will show them what they lost. Play around, fool about make them jealous and so on. This is foolishness and cruel on your heart. Lets look at this different. When the gap arrives rather than fill it, leave it. Observe yourself and work out what is going wrong in each relationship. Get a pad and paper and be very honest here. Write a list of things in life you NEED. I mean for example I need to be in close contact with my woman. If I don't have that need fulfilled I struggle. What are your needs? As daft as some might be write them all down and be truthful. Example I need ... A huge kiss each day A huge hug and kiss every time I see my man or lady To walk with my man under the stars To hold hands everywhere we go Etc Now your list might be 35 notes long, that's fine. Now go over the list and tick each one your previous partner fulfilled. Also tick the ones they didn't fulfill. I think you'll be shocked. I did this a year ago after a heartbreak and found out of 35 things only FOUR of my NEEDS were being fulfilled. Interesting right? So what we have in front of us might be something that fills the gap with what we want yet it never at a much more human level gives us what we NEED. Zoomanity loves you to be in 'cycles. This is part of the game. Feed them crap through the media, TV, magazines and general dumbing down of the human being. This places you in the "way we should react to things" when in fact it isn't. It's about you. It's about the human spirit. It's about the power you have to not just survive but thrive. Susan will only do that if she embraces the gap, finds out who the human Susan really is and grows from there. How about you? Do you have the gap? Do you want to fill your gap fast? Zoomanity offers you nothing, idols of Big Brother and the glorious soap box. Humanity offers you reality and the moment to grow, discover and develop your humanity. Ultimately - it's up to you. Susan will repeat and repeat and repeat. She's a zooman. She can escape, you can escape, we can all escape from zoomanity. Embrace the gap. That might now be you and if it's not feel free to share this on your social media pages or forward as an email. Did it help? Let me know. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alan Forrest Smith & Author of Escape From Zoomanity www.EscapefromZoomanity.com